Grace – my lifelong misunderstanding. Still, in the misunderstanding there is grace, that unrealized implication of my sin. How often I fall again and again to self-made glory laid bare in frustration and unsolicited judgments. Those moments that leave us naked and disappointed at the inability to hear the lies and smooth persuasion of the enemy, my mind, my flesh.
Disillusioned by dawn’s light, my reflection bare
The chaos all too clear as conviction blows the fog from here.
When will I learn to recognize, to hear the proverbial taunt
How long will I be swayed, confined by familiar lies and scarred by rusty traps
Grace – my lifelong misunderstanding.
What a gift that I have in you, Jesus. You bless me as I am “poor in spirit” and I “hunger and thirst for righteousness.” I know that I reside daily in your presence, filled to the brim in satisfaction, seeing your face, and receiving every good thing. I know that I turn aside from it all and at times walk into the desert at your leading where you show me the depth of my heart and totality of your grace.
“Search me oh God and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there is be any grievous way in me
And lead me in the way everlasting!” Psalm 139:23-24 ESV