“By this we shall know we are of the truth and can reassure our heart before Him, for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything.” 1 John 3 19-20
“…He knows everything.” I want to be encouraged by that truth. To be assured and be comforted that all that is known by the Knower of all things, did and does have control over all those things. A control that is rooted in love and purpose and with each wielded stroke of sovereign direction, life happened.
Life is movement. There is nothing static about it. It is always in motion even when we feel like we have been planted in cement. God is always making and breaking us. He uses all that He puts around us and when things are chaotic, assaulting, and destructive—He is present. When episodes of time wound and weary us and memories are hidden under band-aids of distractions, He washes us with healing waters of grace and wraps our heart with His Spirit.
My life has always moved very fast, with many turns and blind curves that gave me many years of motion sickness. At age 25, I realized that by keeping my eyes on a fixed place in the horizon, the motion sickness would ease. Jesus is my fixed place. His patient and constant intercession is my hiding place and with Him I am free from the condemning chains of a wounded past.
What I have realized is that even though I don’t always trust Him and I know I have not surrendered my whole heart—out of the fear of seeing exactly what it is I am chained to—He continues to move me forward and patiently reveals how and helps me to surrender every day. It is Jesus who builds my trust in Him and increases my faith. For when I am weak, He is strong and when I am faithless, He is faithful. Even more, He doesn’t rush the mending of my heart, but allows me to keep the band-aids on till I am ready to remove them.
The song below is one that is continually in my head and has become a soothing thought when memories assault.
Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea;
A great High Priest whose name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart;
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.
When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look, and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died,
My sinful soul is counted free;
For God, the just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.
Behold Him there! The risen Lamb!
My perfect, spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of glory and of grace!
At one with Him, I cannot die,
My soul is purchased by His blood;
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ, my Savior and my God.
~ Before the Throne of God Above, by Charitie Lees Bancroft